It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
