Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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