Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
