Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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