living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
