Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
