You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
