OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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