ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
