I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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