can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize