White coat. Heels.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
