i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
