You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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