I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
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