I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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