FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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