i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I cut my penus on the lid.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
