Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
