They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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