it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
