She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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