did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
