3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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