I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
