I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
