have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm bleeding and have questions
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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