You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
