I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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