Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize