Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
