Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
