Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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