No stitches, just platelets and will power
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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