You're so nebulous sometimes
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
