last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
