Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
