he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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