are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
