More tranny stories later!
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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