He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
