I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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