How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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