I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
