I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
