I can tuck mytits in my pants
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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