yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
