Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
