somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
