You're completely useless in the revolution.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
