Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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