All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
