do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
