just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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