69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize