Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
