Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
