she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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