Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
i think my cat just said my name.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize