just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
