you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
