Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Randomize
